Country Fried, Southern Pride

by Dylan Ewen & The Southern Gospel Gangbusters

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about

Credits:
Simon Katz: Producer, Engineer
Chris Geller: Drums, Percussion
Ben Katzman: Bass, Vocals
Dan Lay: Viola
Dillon Cahill: Banjo
Dan Futcher: Mandolin
Dylan Ewen: Guitar, Harmonica, Lead Vocals
Joe Barnard: Cover Photo

Group vocals on “The Land of No Religion” provided by Olivia Maria, Isabelle Smith, Steffe Welton, Nick Vazquez, and Sean Dwyer

BUFU Records 2013
www.bufurecords.com

credits

released December 7, 2013

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Dylan Ewen Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Getting A Girlfriend Pt. 1
Getting a girlfriend is kind of like getting your dick cut off
Or getting a paper cut that you're convinced is awesome
See now I'm fucking selfless and I hang out with all of your friends
Fuck em

I text you all the time now, I'm never alone
Swear to god I'm a prisoner to my fucking cell phone
I'm pussy whipped again just like David Allan Coe said
Goddamnit

And you've got the power in the palm of your hand
I will never feel like a full man again

I feel like a part of me no longer exists
I used to be a misanthrope, now I'm an optimist
I don't like this, I don't fucking like this
Fuck!

This feels like high school when I was an idiot
Who thought that he was so cool but was really a piece of shit
Nothing to do but go out to eat and lose your virginity
It's so boring

I swear girls have always had me in the palm of their hand
Maybe I was never a full man to begin with

And you've got the power in the palm of your hand
I will never feel like a full man again
Track Name: 500 Days Of Bummer
It's such a bummer not having a girlfriend
But it's a bigger bummer when you get one
Being lonely is no fun
But it also sucks to hang out with anyone

500 days of bummer
Feels like an endless summer
I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine
I wish I had a beach house
That we could have a big fight in
Every night

Paradise lost but baby I found it
Going to hell is when you're surrounded
By people that are ignorant and haven't found out yet
That life is really nothing to get excited about

500 days of bummer
Feels like an endless summer
I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine
I wish I had a beach house
That we could have a big fight in
Every night

See I'd rather hit ya than kiss ya
I'd rather feel pain than avoid and miss it
Pleasure is useless and counterproductive
It's comforting to know that life is so pointless

500 days of bummer
Feels like an endless summer
I wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine
I wish I had a beach house
That we could have a big fight in
Every night
Track Name: America Is A Shopping Mall
Everyday it's the same old shit
And I for one am sick of it
It doesn't matter how you slice it up at all
America is one big shopping mall
I know it's been said and said before
But America is a big convenience store
Anything you want is what we got
At 25, 50 percent off

The funny think about it is
Americans are so rich
You'd think we'd run out of luck
Spending all our money on stupid stuff
But just the opposite it seems to make us richer
To make your muscles and dick grow bigger
To get a bigger car and a bigger house
Get some big tits for your spouse

This is the American dream
Cash rules everything around me
Cash and fat free ice cream
Losing weight and dieting
The funny thing that makes no sense
Is everyone's so full of shit
But they all seem to know more than you
Cause they read all the articles on Yahoo! news

They say people in your life are seasons
And anything that happens is for a reason
And Jesus one day you're gonna see him
Until then, try to be him
The devil is alive I feel him breathin'
Claiming money is the key so keep on dreamin'
He'll give us lottery tickets just to tease us
Sex and cigarettes just to feed us

Do you ever feel like somebody is putting us on?
Like if God exists I bet he's laughing his ass off
Maybe it's all just a big joke
But we're all too dumb to know
I'd believe that if you told me it was true
Hell, I'll believe anything you tell me to
Like the Bible, the TV, and the news
Whoever's got the most Youtube views

It's not up to me to think a lot
It's up to me to fucking shop
And what a great place to do it, thank God
From California to Arkansas
So you might ask
What's the meaning
LIfe's got none intrinsically speaking
The only think to do is to be accepting
And live a life worth not regretting
Track Name: You're An Idiot & I Hate You
How does it feel to know you're a piece of shit with so much debt to pay
I bet you feel so glorious and carefree everyday
But you're a fucking idiot
You're a fucking idiot

You think you're an artist but that couldn't be the farthest thing from the truth
One day all your laziness and stupidity is gonna catch up to you
Cause you're a fucking idiot
You're a fucking idiot

You politicize your personality and you don't even know you're wrong
It's just a cover for your insecurities that you've held with you all along
Cause you're a fucking idiot
You're a fucking idiot

I bet you feel so validated quoting from your books
Your vegan meals and fake activism and the fucking way you look
But you're a fucking idiot
You're a fucking idiot

You're a fucking idiot
You're a fucking idiot
Track Name: Killing Yourself Is So Overrated
Killing yourself is so overrated
And all of your quotations are just masturbation
Everybody thinks they have such an education
Cause they're slightly depressed and on medication

But don't bring that shit around me cause I won't validate it
People don't always understand the facts behind causation
All the punks I know seem to be castrated
And all the local bands that suck get a standing ovation

I was waiting by myself at the bus station
Cause I wanna leave this sick fucking nation
But the sad part is there is no escaping
The boredom and the weed smoke of a college crustacean

Watching uncut BET videos just for the gyration
And listening to rap music for a sense of escapism
Not giving a damn about Obama or health care privatization
Crying because of all the shit smell from this stagnation

If I killed myself would that make me a Massachusetts faggot
That's what all my friends call me when I go back to Dallas
I wanna be so fucking famous and live in the Hamptons
I wanna get paid to rewrite the national anthem

I wanna be a celebrity but I can't fucking stand them
I think I'm gonna pack my shit and move up to Canada
But don't get me wrong I really love America
I'm just sick of all the fucking fast food and bacteria
Track Name: Trivial Pursuits & Pride
Have you ever hated school so much you wanna cry
Has a person ever hurt you so much you wanna die
There's always an easier way to look at yourself
Why don't you try harder, why don't you try your best

There's no reason to ever doubt ourselves
Cause what I see is me and I know that I'll be fine
You have to see what I see and what I see is pride

I tend to laugh off pain when I know that I should cry
These conflicts that I have, they never seem to die
I've got a life to live and so much more to give
I'll never let my problems become my 9 to 5

There's no reason to ever doubt ourselves
Cause what I see is me and I know that I'll be fine
You have to see what I see and what I see is pride
Track Name: The Land Of No Religion
A bunch of hypocritic Christians, the land of no religion
You could pray to god but I bet he wouldn't listen
How come when I call him, he's always gone and
I never seen god give me a check or a deposit

I never seen Jesus Christ
Walk on water or hear me when I cry
So when I need somebody to turn to
I'll turn into myself cause I can't trust you

Why would you lie and tell me he exists
And feed your kids a bunch of bullshit
If I didn't have a pot to piss in I wouldn't take up religion
Cause the only way to get a Bentley is to have some ambition
Track Name: Getting A Girlfriend Pt. 2
It's so much easier to fall in love with someone beautiful
You might think I'm an asshole, but I'm just an animal
Desire can't be discounted and don't play down your urge to fuck

Think of it as positive to try to get someone interested
Who looks like Kate Winslet or Scarlett Johansson
Take into account if you're aroused and know that inner beauty is just a front

Think of it from my view, why would I want you
If you don't look like I want you to, it's heartless and fucking cruel
It's a bummer to come around and discover that you have to settle down for someone

Life is superficial and someone always ends out on top
I just hope I get a pretty girl to get me off

Blame it on the media, blame it on the TV but
Magazines we eat them up, it's just all a big put on
Blame it on advertising, blame it on socializing, there's no way out

Life has been unfair always, people say beauty is fleeting
But that's because they're ugly or they are lying
If someone says looks don't matter don't believe the shit coming out their mouth

But even I lie through my teeth, what the fuck do you think I'm doing
Right now as I'm sermonizing, singing and harmonizing
I want someone pretty but I'm ugly and I don't shit, I just bitch and hang around

Life is superficial and someone always ends out on top
I just hope I get a pretty girl to get me off